2010 has started off with a bang…one day early! Allow me to share a little bit of what happened this morning in the 8am – 9am hour alone.
It all started off when I stayed up playing games at John’s house past the time of the the last MARTA train departure. I ended up sleeping at his house, and at 7:30 am when I woke up, I realized that the fact that my car was in the MARTA lot overnight meant that they probably had towed the car (a big no-no unless you’re in long term parking). “Great” I silently muttered, “the New Year is going to start with me down $250.00 to get my car out of the impound lot.” I prayed silently that my car would still be at the Lakewood Ft. McPherson station when I got there.
At around 8:15 am, I arrived at the station and was overjoyed to see my car still there (Miracle #1 - let's keep a running tally). I got in the car and tried to drive out of the lot, only to find that the entrance/exit was chained up (I guess they were trying to keep the 10 or so cars safely in the lot until they could bring out a wrecker and get us). Luckily, the sidewalk that went around the barricaded entrance was wide enough for a little Saturn to drive through (Miracle #2), and the Saturn did surprisingly well at jumping the curb (Miracle #3). I was free from the restrictions; time to head off to the office.
On the way there, I decided to go through the Chick-fil-A drive through across the street from my building. When I pulled up to the window, I realized that the drive through window was being manned by my favorite Latina (name unremembered at this point). We immediately struck up a conversation in Spanish….which went something like this (JD = James Daniel, CLG = Chickfila Latina Girl):
JD: “Como estas?” (how are you?) CLG: “Cansada. Dormi solamente 4 horas” (Tired. I slept only 4 hours)
JD: "Yo tambien. Porque estuve jugando a las tres en la manana" (Me too, because I was playing until 3 am."
CLG: "Mi esposo - el mismo. Se dormio a las dos." (My husband same thing - he also went to bed at 2am.)
JD: "Estas casado? Tienes hijos?" (You're married? You have children?)
CLG: "Si, estoy casado y tengo tres hijos - 11, 8, y nueve meses." (Yes, married with 3 kids - 11, 8, and 9 months
JD (giggling...joking): "Empezaste cuanto tuviste quince anos!" (You must've started when you were 15!) (Keep in mind...she looks young))
(For brevity, I'll translate the rest into English directly and summarize).
She then goes on to tell me that she got pregnant at 16, married at 17 and has been married for 10 years. He teenage pregnancy was the compelling reason for her to move to the US to be with family. All this in the CFA checkout window!! (Miracle #4)
I think asked her what her name was...it was Irma (this is important). She asked me mine, and when I told her, she said "oh, one of my favorite verses in the Bible is Daniel 2:44". Having my Bible in my backpack, I pulled it out and read it. Great verse, btw. I then told her that 3 of my favorites were Daniel 6:25-27 and asked her if she had Jesus in her life ("tienes Cristo en su corazon?"). AS she responded "yes", I handed her my Bible while checking my rearview mirror to ensure that no other vehicles were behind me in line. I had been at the window for 5-6 minutes at this point as she read Daniel 6:25-27. How perfectly beautiful that chica from El Salvador and I were having a conversation about El Salvador del Mundo (The Savior of the World =))!! (#5) Finally, another vehicle comes into the line, right as we were finishing our conversation.
"Adios, Irma, y Dios te bendiga....Prospero Ano y Feliz Navidad!"
"A ti tambien, Daniel."
My head is spinning as I finally pull into the Hewitt building...but we're not done yet. As I step into the elevator, I'm staring at a woman's FedEx package that she's holding in her hands. On the outside of the box it says "if the product quality is not up to your specifications, please contact (are you ready for this???) IRMA Herrera, Product Manager." (Miracle #6) IRMA...again!! Not like I see the name Irma anywhere...and now I've seen it 2x in the last 10 minutes. In the ChickFila windown and on the side of a random cardboard box! Almost like God was saying "yeah, you liked that didn't you?" I just wanted you to be sure that I wasn't asleep up here, and that things are under control, and that I'm interested in the Irmas of the world...the people in the checkout line of your neighbhorhood Chick-Fil-A."
May each of us not miss out on the Irmas in our lives...they're out there. May we love them as we 1st have been loved.
=Daniel
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Friday, November 6, 2009
Hmmmm
I was talking to a friend recently who thought that it was very important to feel the connection of tithing to the local church. Something about writing that check each month and putting it into the offering plate - he wanted to feel that in his gut as it would reinforce the sacrifice involved in making that tithe or offering.
I understand where he's coming from; the problem lies in the fact that I'm not very organized and have trouble keeping up with my checkbook. I don't think I would do too well with remembering which months I had tithed and which ones I hadn't, etc. So it's just easier for me to set up a reoccuring monthly payment via online checkpay. It's just one thing to make my life easier, and believe me, I'm all about making it easier rather than harder.
I understand where he's coming from; the problem lies in the fact that I'm not very organized and have trouble keeping up with my checkbook. I don't think I would do too well with remembering which months I had tithed and which ones I hadn't, etc. So it's just easier for me to set up a reoccuring monthly payment via online checkpay. It's just one thing to make my life easier, and believe me, I'm all about making it easier rather than harder.
Friday, October 30, 2009
For Anyone who has ever been in a 12 Step Group
I’ve made mention of the fact that I’m in a Christian-based recovery/Twelve Step Group. Like it’s secular counterparts, when we are introducing ourselves, we say “I’m [First Name] and I’m a [addictive behavior] addict.” Such as, “I’m Jim, and I’m a codependency and relationship addict” or “I’m Alec and I’m a sports addict.” While I introduce myself in like manner, I know that my admittance of being a recovering addict is in no way reflective of my identity.
What does that mean? It means that at my core identity, I am NOT an addict. That it doesn’t define me at the core. What does define who I am? The New Testament says that I am seated with Him in the heavenly realms, and that I’ve been predestined to be holy and blameless before the beginning of time. It says that I’m no longer under condemnation but have been justified by faith in Christ Jesus. It says that God no longer counts my sins against me, but instead calls me a friend and a saint. Did you hear that? I’m a Saint! Even the church memebers in Corinth, which was amok with sinful practices, were still called SAINTS!. That’s right – their core identity because of Christ within them was that God the Father looked down and them and saw holy, righteous, blameless saints. Hard to fathom, but true nonetheless.
A better phrase for saints who are in Christ would be “I’m Arthur, a saint who struggles with anxiety.” Or “I’m Tyler, a new creation, who has lingering challenges with pornography.”
What does that mean? It means that at my core identity, I am NOT an addict. That it doesn’t define me at the core. What does define who I am? The New Testament says that I am seated with Him in the heavenly realms, and that I’ve been predestined to be holy and blameless before the beginning of time. It says that I’m no longer under condemnation but have been justified by faith in Christ Jesus. It says that God no longer counts my sins against me, but instead calls me a friend and a saint. Did you hear that? I’m a Saint! Even the church memebers in Corinth, which was amok with sinful practices, were still called SAINTS!. That’s right – their core identity because of Christ within them was that God the Father looked down and them and saw holy, righteous, blameless saints. Hard to fathom, but true nonetheless.
A better phrase for saints who are in Christ would be “I’m Arthur, a saint who struggles with anxiety.” Or “I’m Tyler, a new creation, who has lingering challenges with pornography.”
Thursday, October 22, 2009
"GOOD !!"
I really felt as though I heard from God so clearly this week. Really clearly.
For those who don’t know it, I’ve been in a Twelve Step/Celebrate Recovery type group since February. It takes a lot of humility and is mildly terrifying to go to a place where the very 1st core principle is to admit that one’s life is, at least on some level, unmanageable. Yikes. What an affront it is to one’s masculinity to make such an admittance of failure….or at least that was my perception at the time.
Six months later, I decided to start working a 12 Step workbook along with several of the other men in the group. The process of self discovery, disclosure, and repentance was a painful yet necessary process that has produced much growth, happiness and hope in my life. I can’t believe what has transpired in my life since the painful breakup that spurned so much of this growth forward. So much of it is borders on earth shattering and miraculous.
Steps 4 and 5 of the 12 Steps require that you make a fearless moral inventory and then to admit that inventory to God, to yourself, and finally to another human being. As I was busy admitting this to God Monday night, I kinda hung my head and said “man, I feel like so little of me is left.” This was because part of the admitting in my own life has gone hand in hand with large-scale surrender – more surrender than I ever thought was possible. I was really bummed about this, and wondered if I truly had anything left for God.
While still in that moment of lamentation and completely out of left field, I heard a joyful voice in my head say “GOOD !!!!” As in “you feel as though you have nothing left of yourself? GOOD !!!” And then I started to giggle, because if I’ve ever heard from God, then I heard from Him in that moment – not a doubt in my mind.
And since “living the Christian life” really means letting go and surrendering and letting Him live His life through me, then this makes total sense. God would be excited that I’ve come to the end of myself, as living in the Spirit would elicit this kind of reaction from God. And I need not lament the movement of “dying to self” in my own life; on the contrary, I can rejoice at such gracious and better stuff coming
For those who don’t know it, I’ve been in a Twelve Step/Celebrate Recovery type group since February. It takes a lot of humility and is mildly terrifying to go to a place where the very 1st core principle is to admit that one’s life is, at least on some level, unmanageable. Yikes. What an affront it is to one’s masculinity to make such an admittance of failure….or at least that was my perception at the time.
Six months later, I decided to start working a 12 Step workbook along with several of the other men in the group. The process of self discovery, disclosure, and repentance was a painful yet necessary process that has produced much growth, happiness and hope in my life. I can’t believe what has transpired in my life since the painful breakup that spurned so much of this growth forward. So much of it is borders on earth shattering and miraculous.
Steps 4 and 5 of the 12 Steps require that you make a fearless moral inventory and then to admit that inventory to God, to yourself, and finally to another human being. As I was busy admitting this to God Monday night, I kinda hung my head and said “man, I feel like so little of me is left.” This was because part of the admitting in my own life has gone hand in hand with large-scale surrender – more surrender than I ever thought was possible. I was really bummed about this, and wondered if I truly had anything left for God.
While still in that moment of lamentation and completely out of left field, I heard a joyful voice in my head say “GOOD !!!!” As in “you feel as though you have nothing left of yourself? GOOD !!!” And then I started to giggle, because if I’ve ever heard from God, then I heard from Him in that moment – not a doubt in my mind.
And since “living the Christian life” really means letting go and surrendering and letting Him live His life through me, then this makes total sense. God would be excited that I’ve come to the end of myself, as living in the Spirit would elicit this kind of reaction from God. And I need not lament the movement of “dying to self” in my own life; on the contrary, I can rejoice at such gracious and better stuff coming
Monday, October 19, 2009
40 Years in the Wilderness
I think we’re on the cusp of something….let me explain.
I’m getting more and more into numbers – and I want to share what I felt like the Lord impressed upon my heart today.
The Isrealites, before they could enter the promised land, wandered in the desert for 40 years. 40 years of punishment because of the lack of faith of 10 men, who said that the Jebusites, Hivites, Amorites, and Girgashites were too formidable. “We’re like grasshoppers compared to them!” the 10 said.
Likewise, I think America has been “wandering” for 40 years in its own desert of kinds – and it has to do America’s worship of sex. Think back to when this started….the free love movement…Vietnam, the hippies, with Bruce Springsteen’s song “Summer of ‘69” being the overarching meta-song that encapsulated so much of that era: sex, drugs, and rock and roll. Not to be missed is the slang use of the number 69 in a sexual context.
1969 would have been 40 years ago…exactly. The summer when so much went wrong in America is about to have run her 40 year judgement. The summer of 2009 just ended 7 days ago.
And already I’m seeing changes in the landscape. Men by the hundreds are now seeking to have accountability in their internet surfing. I’ve talked to not 1, not 2, but 4 other men who just have had extended periods of sexual abstinence (from pornography, masturbation, and illicit contact) that started about the same time mine did. And many more that are in my 12 Step/Celebrate Recovery Group.
Lots of things happened in 40s in the Bible – Moses had 2 40s (in Pharoah’s house, tending the flocks of Midian). The Israelites in the desert, Jesus in the wilderness, the number of days of rain on the earth during the flood. Even the book of EXODUS, which refers to the people leaving….has FORTY chapters.
I think it’s time for a second “Sexual Revolution” and I’m praying into that. A sexual revolution that’s characterized by men and women changing their beliefs about sex – that it’s no longer to be enjoyed with anyone other than their spouse. That it’s NOT to be enjoyed by one’s self in a fantasy context at a strip club, in front of a computer, or with an unmarried partner. That it’s not to be dwelt on in mind or heart. That’s my kind of revolution – a return to God’s standards with these 4 C’s:
Courage – to repent and to humbly seek help
Confession – to dare to speak openly about what has been hidden for SO LONG
and
Contempt for accepting any kind of Compromise – whether it be things as innocuous as magazine covers, checking out women at the beach, etc.
I’m getting more and more into numbers – and I want to share what I felt like the Lord impressed upon my heart today.
The Isrealites, before they could enter the promised land, wandered in the desert for 40 years. 40 years of punishment because of the lack of faith of 10 men, who said that the Jebusites, Hivites, Amorites, and Girgashites were too formidable. “We’re like grasshoppers compared to them!” the 10 said.
Likewise, I think America has been “wandering” for 40 years in its own desert of kinds – and it has to do America’s worship of sex. Think back to when this started….the free love movement…Vietnam, the hippies, with Bruce Springsteen’s song “Summer of ‘69” being the overarching meta-song that encapsulated so much of that era: sex, drugs, and rock and roll. Not to be missed is the slang use of the number 69 in a sexual context.
1969 would have been 40 years ago…exactly. The summer when so much went wrong in America is about to have run her 40 year judgement. The summer of 2009 just ended 7 days ago.
And already I’m seeing changes in the landscape. Men by the hundreds are now seeking to have accountability in their internet surfing. I’ve talked to not 1, not 2, but 4 other men who just have had extended periods of sexual abstinence (from pornography, masturbation, and illicit contact) that started about the same time mine did. And many more that are in my 12 Step/Celebrate Recovery Group.
Lots of things happened in 40s in the Bible – Moses had 2 40s (in Pharoah’s house, tending the flocks of Midian). The Israelites in the desert, Jesus in the wilderness, the number of days of rain on the earth during the flood. Even the book of EXODUS, which refers to the people leaving….has FORTY chapters.
I think it’s time for a second “Sexual Revolution” and I’m praying into that. A sexual revolution that’s characterized by men and women changing their beliefs about sex – that it’s no longer to be enjoyed with anyone other than their spouse. That it’s NOT to be enjoyed by one’s self in a fantasy context at a strip club, in front of a computer, or with an unmarried partner. That it’s not to be dwelt on in mind or heart. That’s my kind of revolution – a return to God’s standards with these 4 C’s:
Courage – to repent and to humbly seek help
Confession – to dare to speak openly about what has been hidden for SO LONG
and
Contempt for accepting any kind of Compromise – whether it be things as innocuous as magazine covers, checking out women at the beach, etc.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Continuation of the previous blog
It's a scary thing to surrender....even the act of "accepting Jesus as savior of one's life" is insanely humbling. "What? I can't do this on my own?" It's amazing how much pride can jack us up.
Laying down one's pride, choosing to forgive when it's painful, trusting that God has a plan - these kind of things leave us radically humble and vunerable. Laying down our defenses seems so counter-intuitive.
But you know what's crazy? I've found that I'm not just prey for the wolves when this happens. Instead of being mincemeat, I'm finding that there's crazy indwelling peace there. Laying down my need to please others has brought great contentment to my soul. Laying down my agenda and even my desire to get married....believe it or not....has given me calmness of spirit and probably actually made me more attractive to members of the opposite sex (and part of that is because I'm more at peace with myself!).
Surrending to God is radically counterintuitive. Surrending my desires for revenge, fame, fortune, sex, popularity...isn't this going to leave me with nothing? No, no, no it isn't. Just like the song says "it's an inside outside upside down kingdom, where you lose to gain and you die to live." -Misty
I may have lost all of those things, but I've gained so much more.
Laying down one's pride, choosing to forgive when it's painful, trusting that God has a plan - these kind of things leave us radically humble and vunerable. Laying down our defenses seems so counter-intuitive.
But you know what's crazy? I've found that I'm not just prey for the wolves when this happens. Instead of being mincemeat, I'm finding that there's crazy indwelling peace there. Laying down my need to please others has brought great contentment to my soul. Laying down my agenda and even my desire to get married....believe it or not....has given me calmness of spirit and probably actually made me more attractive to members of the opposite sex (and part of that is because I'm more at peace with myself!).
Surrending to God is radically counterintuitive. Surrending my desires for revenge, fame, fortune, sex, popularity...isn't this going to leave me with nothing? No, no, no it isn't. Just like the song says "it's an inside outside upside down kingdom, where you lose to gain and you die to live." -Misty
I may have lost all of those things, but I've gained so much more.
Friday, June 12, 2009
The craziest thing you can pray
We all battle unbelief every single day. As a matter of fact, if we were to peel away the layers of our sinful condition, I bet we'd find that at the root of it is an underlying layer which is typically an unbelief in the goodness of God.
Take for example, a friend of mine who has been raised in the church. She seems to be a very devout follower of Jesus and tries her best to please him.
This friend of mine has been dating someone for quite sometime now, but rather than getting married, they just decided to move in together. On the surface, the sin appears to simply fornication, but I bet if you were to get to the core of it, it's really that God's plan (wait until marriage to enjoy sexual relations with one's spouse) lost its appeal. Certainly, this is no longer deemed a "good" idea; otherwise, this friend would have probably waited until marriage. This person even told me, several years back, that she was definitely waiting until marriage to give of herself sexually. It's sad to see that ultimately her belief that God was doing her wrong by not providing for her a husband on her timetable trumped her promise to God and to herself to wait until marriage to enjoy sex.
And let me be the 1st to admit that it's incredibly hard to fight sin. I, Daniel, because of the indwelling sin that still makes war against me, am fully capable of doing just about anything to displease God. I don't like that fact and am very excited about the day when I will have a new body and no longer have to deal with this sinful piece of flesh.
And there are times when it is very hard to believe in the goodness of God. So hard! Peter Scazzero calls it "The Wall" - a set of life circumstances that seriously challenge one's faith. Some examples Pete alludes to are things like an unexpected cancer, an inability to get pregnant, loss of a loved one, extended singlehood when the person desires marriage, a failed marriage, a miscarriage - the list goes on. These are things that will push even the strongest person's faith to the breaking point. They are left wondering, at their core, if God is really good. "If you are a good God then why did this happen?" (Isn't this what the inner us is saying all the time??)
But when one really does come to a place where one is convinced, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that God is good, it can be the most freeing thing imaginable. A while back, I heard a Wycliffe missionary named Dennis tell us that his life prayer was this: "Lord do whatever you need to do to me so that you can do all that you want to do through me." My initial reaction to this was "Are you kidding me?? That prayer is madness! (What if God thinks the best thing to do to me is to redo everything that happened to Job, minus the last half of the last chapter)"
But the more I've wrestled with this prayer over the years, the more I've come to realize that Dennis had gone through his own 'Wall' and that he was fully at peace with God's goodness. Wow, what a place to be! He's fully ok with letting God do anything to him because he fully believes that all things truly are working for the good of them THAT LOVE GOD, who are called according to His purpose! Dennis couldn't be dissuaded of God's goodness no matter what this world or Satan threw at him.
May I ever more be able to joyfully pray this prayer.
Take for example, a friend of mine who has been raised in the church. She seems to be a very devout follower of Jesus and tries her best to please him.
This friend of mine has been dating someone for quite sometime now, but rather than getting married, they just decided to move in together. On the surface, the sin appears to simply fornication, but I bet if you were to get to the core of it, it's really that God's plan (wait until marriage to enjoy sexual relations with one's spouse) lost its appeal. Certainly, this is no longer deemed a "good" idea; otherwise, this friend would have probably waited until marriage. This person even told me, several years back, that she was definitely waiting until marriage to give of herself sexually. It's sad to see that ultimately her belief that God was doing her wrong by not providing for her a husband on her timetable trumped her promise to God and to herself to wait until marriage to enjoy sex.
And let me be the 1st to admit that it's incredibly hard to fight sin. I, Daniel, because of the indwelling sin that still makes war against me, am fully capable of doing just about anything to displease God. I don't like that fact and am very excited about the day when I will have a new body and no longer have to deal with this sinful piece of flesh.
And there are times when it is very hard to believe in the goodness of God. So hard! Peter Scazzero calls it "The Wall" - a set of life circumstances that seriously challenge one's faith. Some examples Pete alludes to are things like an unexpected cancer, an inability to get pregnant, loss of a loved one, extended singlehood when the person desires marriage, a failed marriage, a miscarriage - the list goes on. These are things that will push even the strongest person's faith to the breaking point. They are left wondering, at their core, if God is really good. "If you are a good God then why did this happen?" (Isn't this what the inner us is saying all the time??)
But when one really does come to a place where one is convinced, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that God is good, it can be the most freeing thing imaginable. A while back, I heard a Wycliffe missionary named Dennis tell us that his life prayer was this: "Lord do whatever you need to do to me so that you can do all that you want to do through me." My initial reaction to this was "Are you kidding me?? That prayer is madness! (What if God thinks the best thing to do to me is to redo everything that happened to Job, minus the last half of the last chapter)"
But the more I've wrestled with this prayer over the years, the more I've come to realize that Dennis had gone through his own 'Wall' and that he was fully at peace with God's goodness. Wow, what a place to be! He's fully ok with letting God do anything to him because he fully believes that all things truly are working for the good of them THAT LOVE GOD, who are called according to His purpose! Dennis couldn't be dissuaded of God's goodness no matter what this world or Satan threw at him.
May I ever more be able to joyfully pray this prayer.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Planet Earth meets Camp Sunrise
I had lots of good vivid memories from childhood, especially from the two weeks each summer when I would get to go to Camp Sunrise (!) and AWANA camp (I’m surprised no one from AWANA camp has found me on here yet….lol).
One of the funniest memories I had was this game we called “prison break”, where everyone of one gender would be inside of a circle and the members of the other team would try to go whatever they could to get people out of the circle. To this day, I have this picture of Lisa Henderson almost squeezing the living daylights out of Jamie Peavy (and Amanda Darley I think) trying to keep all three of them from getting pulled outside the circle. The team that was able to keep at least 1 person inside the circle for the longest period of time was the winner.
Well, we played a variation of this game at AWANA camp 1-2 years later, and I remember very vividly how it all played out. They called it something like “cows and cowgirls” with all the boys from one team inside the circle and all the girls (about 20 of them) trying to get the boys out of it. The rule was that the boys had to be on their hands and knees or lying on the ground (struggling and thrashing around was ok).
The first team of boys simply each did their own thing and were quickly removed from the circle. With each guy as an island, the team of girls, working in wolven-like packs of 5-7, made quick work of them. The 2nd team of four wasn’t much better. The third team had a little bit better strategy and at least some of the large boys kind of linked together and the chain was somewhat more impervious to the pride of lionesses.
My team realized that the only way we were gonna win was to literally make a dog pile in the middle (we were all kind of small) with everyone grabbing as many arms legs and necks as they could. As a matter of fact, we probably looked like a pile of extension cords that had been sitting by themselves for a while (in case you didn’t know, the longer extension cords sit together, the more congealed and intertwined they become =)). It was one big mass of 5th and 6th graders. And boy did we hold on for dear life!! Our mass of manhood was pretty impregnable to the roving band of lionesses and we lasted more than double the other three teams.
I was recently reminded of this story while watching Our Planet Earth, the extraordinary British Television series. In one of the episodes, a polar bear is trying to eat and comes upon a herd of walruses “chilling” on a huge piece of ice. You’d think it’d be easy pickings, right? Oh no! You see, the walruses all formed a tight circle with their huge butts forming an impervious wall. The polar bear’s claws and teeth were no match for the thick skin of the walrus. (Plus, one of the big walruses then turned around and started impaling the polar bear with his huge tusks….talk about a bad day in polar bear land.) After several minutes, the polar bear leaves the herd both hurt and hungry.
What made any of this strike a cord with me? I guess it’s just that we’re all confronted by evil every single day. At small group last week, we each drew one other person’s name from the bin and promised to pray for that person at least 1x a day. That one person prayed for me every single day! And I could tell! He was being the walrus next to me helping to form the impregnable shield against the vicious polar bears that circled when we least expected it. He was part of my dogpile keeping me in the circle while the lionesses tried to pick me off. And to continue the dog pile metaphor, someone else in the group was praying for him and “grabbing his leg” and not letting go either. Our small group became an intertwined sea of humanity that rebuffed evil as a team. It was wonderful.
May God give you "walruses with thick skin" to stand on either side of you too.
One of the funniest memories I had was this game we called “prison break”, where everyone of one gender would be inside of a circle and the members of the other team would try to go whatever they could to get people out of the circle. To this day, I have this picture of Lisa Henderson almost squeezing the living daylights out of Jamie Peavy (and Amanda Darley I think) trying to keep all three of them from getting pulled outside the circle. The team that was able to keep at least 1 person inside the circle for the longest period of time was the winner.
Well, we played a variation of this game at AWANA camp 1-2 years later, and I remember very vividly how it all played out. They called it something like “cows and cowgirls” with all the boys from one team inside the circle and all the girls (about 20 of them) trying to get the boys out of it. The rule was that the boys had to be on their hands and knees or lying on the ground (struggling and thrashing around was ok).
The first team of boys simply each did their own thing and were quickly removed from the circle. With each guy as an island, the team of girls, working in wolven-like packs of 5-7, made quick work of them. The 2nd team of four wasn’t much better. The third team had a little bit better strategy and at least some of the large boys kind of linked together and the chain was somewhat more impervious to the pride of lionesses.
My team realized that the only way we were gonna win was to literally make a dog pile in the middle (we were all kind of small) with everyone grabbing as many arms legs and necks as they could. As a matter of fact, we probably looked like a pile of extension cords that had been sitting by themselves for a while (in case you didn’t know, the longer extension cords sit together, the more congealed and intertwined they become =)). It was one big mass of 5th and 6th graders. And boy did we hold on for dear life!! Our mass of manhood was pretty impregnable to the roving band of lionesses and we lasted more than double the other three teams.
I was recently reminded of this story while watching Our Planet Earth, the extraordinary British Television series. In one of the episodes, a polar bear is trying to eat and comes upon a herd of walruses “chilling” on a huge piece of ice. You’d think it’d be easy pickings, right? Oh no! You see, the walruses all formed a tight circle with their huge butts forming an impervious wall. The polar bear’s claws and teeth were no match for the thick skin of the walrus. (Plus, one of the big walruses then turned around and started impaling the polar bear with his huge tusks….talk about a bad day in polar bear land.) After several minutes, the polar bear leaves the herd both hurt and hungry.
What made any of this strike a cord with me? I guess it’s just that we’re all confronted by evil every single day. At small group last week, we each drew one other person’s name from the bin and promised to pray for that person at least 1x a day. That one person prayed for me every single day! And I could tell! He was being the walrus next to me helping to form the impregnable shield against the vicious polar bears that circled when we least expected it. He was part of my dogpile keeping me in the circle while the lionesses tried to pick me off. And to continue the dog pile metaphor, someone else in the group was praying for him and “grabbing his leg” and not letting go either. Our small group became an intertwined sea of humanity that rebuffed evil as a team. It was wonderful.
May God give you "walruses with thick skin" to stand on either side of you too.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Prayer contemplations
Last night, I was really comforted by something that God brought to mind, and I wanted to share it. It's this idea that He knows everything about me. The number of hairs on my head, the exact nature of my fears and struggles, my thoughts from afar (Ps 139), my desire to honor Him, the desire to have a life of significance, my past failures, my dreams, my hopes, my doubts - everything. He knows it all!! Every single piece of it.
I just kind of went off of that and validated some of these things while praying: "Jesus, you know exactly what's going on. There's nothing about my life that's surprised you - not one bit." Jesus knew that I would be rejected by this former girlfriend; I at least find this a tad bit comforting that He knew about this and has known about this since the beginning of time.
My prayer continued: "Christ, you know exactly the attacks that are going to come tonight and tomorrow. As a matter of fact, you know everything. With that in mind, you also know the exact way for me to escape these temptations (I Cor 10:13) such that I will not sin in my heart. Holy Spirit, I don't know the exact nature of the attacks, and I certainly don't know how to fight them. But you do!!! You know exactly what's going on!!" Y'all, we can lean on the everlasting wisdom Who is intimately aware of everything.
The last part of the prayer: "So that's it, Jesus. I'm thankful that you know the past, present, future - EVERYTHING. You say your load is easy and burden is light. Mine burden feels heavy and awful right now. You think you could help me and ease my struggles some? Can we switch backpacks today, Jesus? I pray that you'll do this for me.
In Jesus's name, amen."
I just kind of went off of that and validated some of these things while praying: "Jesus, you know exactly what's going on. There's nothing about my life that's surprised you - not one bit." Jesus knew that I would be rejected by this former girlfriend; I at least find this a tad bit comforting that He knew about this and has known about this since the beginning of time.
My prayer continued: "Christ, you know exactly the attacks that are going to come tonight and tomorrow. As a matter of fact, you know everything. With that in mind, you also know the exact way for me to escape these temptations (I Cor 10:13) such that I will not sin in my heart. Holy Spirit, I don't know the exact nature of the attacks, and I certainly don't know how to fight them. But you do!!! You know exactly what's going on!!" Y'all, we can lean on the everlasting wisdom Who is intimately aware of everything.
The last part of the prayer: "So that's it, Jesus. I'm thankful that you know the past, present, future - EVERYTHING. You say your load is easy and burden is light. Mine burden feels heavy and awful right now. You think you could help me and ease my struggles some? Can we switch backpacks today, Jesus? I pray that you'll do this for me.
In Jesus's name, amen."
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Reflections on Holy Week: Rocky Balboa, Bells, and Trumpets
I find it fascinating that Holy Week, or the week leading up to Easter, can hit me in brand new ways year after year. This has been especially heightened by the fact that our church observes Lent which only lends to a greater level of expectation and hope.
I've been going through some tough times recently and was dwelling on some of the deep themes from the most recent Rocky film, Rocky Balboa. In the most recent installment, Rocky, at the age of approximately 60, is not yet ready to throw in the towel. He wants to prove to himself that he is still capable of doing something with his life. But more importantly, he wants to find an inner peace with himself. He feels he will only obtain if he once more gets in the ring, a fight which he says "is not about getting hit" but about "how many times one can get hit and still get up."
The movie builds up to such a wonderful ending, with Rocky standing toe to toe with the defending champ, Mason Dixon. And the beautiful thing about this movie is that it's not about whether Rocky wins or loses the last fight - it's about the fact that he makes it until the last bell sounds. Rocky has finally made peace with himself and leaves the ring not even caring who actually is declared the winner. He knows in his heart that he's at peace with his wife's death, with his relationship with his son - I would even say with God at that point. It's truly a life-death-resurrection type movie in every sense of the word. Rocky experiences a rebirth at the end of the movie which reminds me a lot about Holy Week in a very transcendental way. I wish I could do a better job of connecting the dots in this blog.
Like Rocky, my hope is to keep battling evil until the final bell sounds. And you know what's great about this? Only it's not going to be a bell this time...but rather a trumpet! That's right, the Lord is going to return from the heavens with a SHOUT, with the voice of the archangels and with trumpets blasting. Just like royal trumpeters would herald the return of the king, Jesus will receive the same royal welcome when he returns to Earth to rule it.
"We have not been left on Friday" (the day of the crucifixion, metaphorically a place of defeat and despair) like my cousin Helen told me recently. We don't have to wallow in despondency like Rocky did in the 1st half of the movie. We've been given good and perfect gifts from our Heavenly Father and are fully capable of going the distance. We just have to learn how let Him do it through us.
We can't live the Christian life. No Christian on earth can live the Christian life....and no this isn't a misprint. If we're doing it in our own power, we are going to fail. We're going to fall down before the last bell sounds.
Let's be Romans chapter 8 overcomers through the power of the Spirit of God. Let's all be spiritual Russell Crowe Gladiator figures =). After all, the trumpet could sound at any moment.
=D
P.S. Sly Stallone, I'm glad you're gonna be in heaven.
I've been going through some tough times recently and was dwelling on some of the deep themes from the most recent Rocky film, Rocky Balboa. In the most recent installment, Rocky, at the age of approximately 60, is not yet ready to throw in the towel. He wants to prove to himself that he is still capable of doing something with his life. But more importantly, he wants to find an inner peace with himself. He feels he will only obtain if he once more gets in the ring, a fight which he says "is not about getting hit" but about "how many times one can get hit and still get up."
The movie builds up to such a wonderful ending, with Rocky standing toe to toe with the defending champ, Mason Dixon. And the beautiful thing about this movie is that it's not about whether Rocky wins or loses the last fight - it's about the fact that he makes it until the last bell sounds. Rocky has finally made peace with himself and leaves the ring not even caring who actually is declared the winner. He knows in his heart that he's at peace with his wife's death, with his relationship with his son - I would even say with God at that point. It's truly a life-death-resurrection type movie in every sense of the word. Rocky experiences a rebirth at the end of the movie which reminds me a lot about Holy Week in a very transcendental way. I wish I could do a better job of connecting the dots in this blog.
Like Rocky, my hope is to keep battling evil until the final bell sounds. And you know what's great about this? Only it's not going to be a bell this time...but rather a trumpet! That's right, the Lord is going to return from the heavens with a SHOUT, with the voice of the archangels and with trumpets blasting. Just like royal trumpeters would herald the return of the king, Jesus will receive the same royal welcome when he returns to Earth to rule it.
"We have not been left on Friday" (the day of the crucifixion, metaphorically a place of defeat and despair) like my cousin Helen told me recently. We don't have to wallow in despondency like Rocky did in the 1st half of the movie. We've been given good and perfect gifts from our Heavenly Father and are fully capable of going the distance. We just have to learn how let Him do it through us.
We can't live the Christian life. No Christian on earth can live the Christian life....and no this isn't a misprint. If we're doing it in our own power, we are going to fail. We're going to fall down before the last bell sounds.
Let's be Romans chapter 8 overcomers through the power of the Spirit of God. Let's all be spiritual Russell Crowe Gladiator figures =). After all, the trumpet could sound at any moment.
=D
P.S. Sly Stallone, I'm glad you're gonna be in heaven.
Monday, March 16, 2009
In Love's Service....
I remember a line from Brennan Manning's Abba's Child, and it was "In Love's Service, only wounded can serve."
Last week, a co-worker and I were talking and he alluded to the fact that sometimes we are allowed to endure trials so as to birth within us even a greater empathy for the world's hurts. It's one thing to empathize but that empathy reaches another level when you can stare that person straight in the face and say "I've walked that road - that exact road as a matter of fact. And yes, it's bumpy and hard at times, but I want to let you know that Jesus held my hand through the whole ordeal and He can hold yours too." Oh, that God would bring about radical amounts of love and empathy in His followers to love the hurting world out there!!
My heart is once again in a place of radical vunerability....but you know what, I think some of the most meaningful God moments that have ever happened to me have happened during this time of bereavement. People have seen the wounded, sobbing Daniel and have not abandoned me. The hugs I have received have been genuine. The depth of my brother's love for me (my biological brother) has never been more evident than in the last 8 weeks (especially the night of the breakup). My youngest sister bought me my favorite candy for Valentine's Day. My other sister has been an invaluable sounding board as I've talked through a great number of things in an attempt to gain clarity. Several other ladies have sent me handwritten cards of encouragement. Several other guys have had me over for dinner.
And the gift of forgiveness that I've been given I've been able to share with others. Allison and Janis, I am so happy that I was able to help you cancel some yucky debts. All praise be to God on that one.
Last week, a co-worker and I were talking and he alluded to the fact that sometimes we are allowed to endure trials so as to birth within us even a greater empathy for the world's hurts. It's one thing to empathize but that empathy reaches another level when you can stare that person straight in the face and say "I've walked that road - that exact road as a matter of fact. And yes, it's bumpy and hard at times, but I want to let you know that Jesus held my hand through the whole ordeal and He can hold yours too." Oh, that God would bring about radical amounts of love and empathy in His followers to love the hurting world out there!!
My heart is once again in a place of radical vunerability....but you know what, I think some of the most meaningful God moments that have ever happened to me have happened during this time of bereavement. People have seen the wounded, sobbing Daniel and have not abandoned me. The hugs I have received have been genuine. The depth of my brother's love for me (my biological brother) has never been more evident than in the last 8 weeks (especially the night of the breakup). My youngest sister bought me my favorite candy for Valentine's Day. My other sister has been an invaluable sounding board as I've talked through a great number of things in an attempt to gain clarity. Several other ladies have sent me handwritten cards of encouragement. Several other guys have had me over for dinner.
And the gift of forgiveness that I've been given I've been able to share with others. Allison and Janis, I am so happy that I was able to help you cancel some yucky debts. All praise be to God on that one.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Not under Condemnation
I am no longer under the law but under grace.
"Holy Spirit, you know my heart and you know that it desires to follow wholeheartedly after you. You also know that any attempts of mine to live the Christian life in the flesh, or in fear of the rules and subsequent punishment, will ultimately fail. In this moment, I just latch on to your grace. You love me so much, Jesus! I chose to make that the #1 thing I think about today. You know the ways in which I struggle and I just pray that you'll hold my hand and deal with my enemies in a way that delivers me from their entincing snares and subsequent shame and guilt.
Thank you, Holy Spirit, that even when I sin, that you don't condemn me - that my standing in your eyes is both holy and blameless. I am a saint dressed in white robes! I am forgiven! I am not condemned because I am in Christ Jesus. When God the father looks down at me, He doesn't see my sin because Christ has paid for all sins - past, present, and future.
Of course you know that I know that I'm not going to keep sinning so that grace can abound. But you also know that I'm like a 4 year old child that is simply saying "Daddy, help!" Please respond to my cries for help, King Jesus and deliver me from my enemies. I chose to believe that this is possible in faith and from the wellspring of faith I make whatever efforts I can on my end to live a life worthy of the calling that I've received.
If your grace is real, I pray that you'd show it to me today. May mercy and grace triumph over judgement and condemnation. In Jesus' name, amen."
"Holy Spirit, you know my heart and you know that it desires to follow wholeheartedly after you. You also know that any attempts of mine to live the Christian life in the flesh, or in fear of the rules and subsequent punishment, will ultimately fail. In this moment, I just latch on to your grace. You love me so much, Jesus! I chose to make that the #1 thing I think about today. You know the ways in which I struggle and I just pray that you'll hold my hand and deal with my enemies in a way that delivers me from their entincing snares and subsequent shame and guilt.
Thank you, Holy Spirit, that even when I sin, that you don't condemn me - that my standing in your eyes is both holy and blameless. I am a saint dressed in white robes! I am forgiven! I am not condemned because I am in Christ Jesus. When God the father looks down at me, He doesn't see my sin because Christ has paid for all sins - past, present, and future.
Of course you know that I know that I'm not going to keep sinning so that grace can abound. But you also know that I'm like a 4 year old child that is simply saying "Daddy, help!" Please respond to my cries for help, King Jesus and deliver me from my enemies. I chose to believe that this is possible in faith and from the wellspring of faith I make whatever efforts I can on my end to live a life worthy of the calling that I've received.
If your grace is real, I pray that you'd show it to me today. May mercy and grace triumph over judgement and condemnation. In Jesus' name, amen."
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
I tell him no
Satan's attacks often move in so fast,
Sharp pointed arrows - pointing to
A near and distant past.
"You're a failure", with echoes of gloom,
He seeks to cast
Doubt on the hope I've held onto so fast.
Will it fade and die - or last?
With tear-filled heart, my eyes aghast,
I reach for the one who has redeemed my past,
In whom my peace is both deep and vast.
And then I face my enemy with strength renewed,
Fire in my eyes to fight this dude,
"You liar, get away from me!" my cry ensued -
"This game we're playing,
You know?
Well, guess what?
You lose, YOU LOSE!!"
You lose today in the battle fray,
A new day dawns - today, TODAY!!
I'll mourn and cry but as far as obey-
I bow only to the One
Who is might to save.
The hero, the truth, the light, the Way,
There's really not too much more to say
Except my is answer is NO, as in
"HELL NO, NO WAY!!!!"
Sharp pointed arrows - pointing to
A near and distant past.
"You're a failure", with echoes of gloom,
He seeks to cast
Doubt on the hope I've held onto so fast.
Will it fade and die - or last?
With tear-filled heart, my eyes aghast,
I reach for the one who has redeemed my past,
In whom my peace is both deep and vast.
And then I face my enemy with strength renewed,
Fire in my eyes to fight this dude,
"You liar, get away from me!" my cry ensued -
"This game we're playing,
You know?
Well, guess what?
You lose, YOU LOSE!!"
You lose today in the battle fray,
A new day dawns - today, TODAY!!
I'll mourn and cry but as far as obey-
I bow only to the One
Who is might to save.
The hero, the truth, the light, the Way,
There's really not too much more to say
Except my is answer is NO, as in
"HELL NO, NO WAY!!!!"
Thursday, February 5, 2009
My Stimulus Package
My (highly satirical) version of what the stimulus package should be…
So…the federal gov’t is about to pony up $900 billion of taxpayers money. To quote Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness, ‘the horror, the horror.’ But since the Federal gov’t is about to increase the federal debt by another $15,000 per taxpayer ($900,000,000,000/60,000,000 taxpayers = $15,000 taxpayer), I’d like to talk about how I want my $15,000 of pillaging to be spent….mine and all the other Americans.
If I had a say in how this money was spent, this is how I would do it:
Assuming $500/handgun and 170,000,000 Americans over the age of 18, I’d like the gov’t to spend $85 billion to buy every American adult a self defense weapon. With the potential of every American packing, crime will go down to almost zero resulting in hundreds of billions in lower insurance premiums, claims, and much of a less need for federal and state law enforcement.
I’d like the government to spend another $85 billion to get every American a year membership to the gym. A more fit America will decrease avoidable diseases by amazing amounts and see hundreds of billions less in health benefits claims. Lower insurance premiums will also follow.
I’d like to $20 billion blow up every house that currently is abandoned with plywood over the windows. That’s right – less squatter homes will result in large increase in property values elsewhere, increasing the taxbase and increasing revenue 5-fold or more.
On the subject of nationalization, I’d like to see more gov’t intervention on the following:
- I’d like to see the gov’t nationalize the amount of TV that Americans can watch per day. I’d like to see $10 Billion spent developing a system where if your TV is left on for more than 1 hour/day, that it immediately shuts off and can only be reset every 12-16 hours.
Regulating/nationalizing TV watching will result in more family quality time and force dads to be more emotionally involved in the lives of their kids. The money saved in court costs (less custody battles, divorces, etc) will fund the TV Czar and his department.
- I’d like to see the gov’t nationalize what Americans can eat. A diet of only vegetables and water. They need to nationalize and regulate what food can and can’t be sold in stores. Only organic products with no processed sugar or sodium added. The money saved by fewer cases of heart disease, diabetes, osteoporosis, and cancer will be used to fund a food czar and ensuing gov’t division.
- I’d like to see the gov’t regulate all new construction projects. All new skyscrapers will be have solar panels covering at least 50% of the exterior with the panels being able to provide at least 300% of the total energy needs for the building. The other 200% of the energy will be sold to repay the money spent to create a building czar and ensuing gov’t multi-tiered bureaucracy.
- I’d like to see….none of this. But these projects are at least a little bit better than $150 million for contraceptives, $85 Billion for big pharma, $866,000 for a discgolf course (seriously….I love discgolf…but as part of a stimulus package using federal money?), $275 billion in tax cuts….good grief.
So…the federal gov’t is about to pony up $900 billion of taxpayers money. To quote Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness, ‘the horror, the horror.’ But since the Federal gov’t is about to increase the federal debt by another $15,000 per taxpayer ($900,000,000,000/60,000,000 taxpayers = $15,000 taxpayer), I’d like to talk about how I want my $15,000 of pillaging to be spent….mine and all the other Americans.
If I had a say in how this money was spent, this is how I would do it:
Assuming $500/handgun and 170,000,000 Americans over the age of 18, I’d like the gov’t to spend $85 billion to buy every American adult a self defense weapon. With the potential of every American packing, crime will go down to almost zero resulting in hundreds of billions in lower insurance premiums, claims, and much of a less need for federal and state law enforcement.
I’d like the government to spend another $85 billion to get every American a year membership to the gym. A more fit America will decrease avoidable diseases by amazing amounts and see hundreds of billions less in health benefits claims. Lower insurance premiums will also follow.
I’d like to $20 billion blow up every house that currently is abandoned with plywood over the windows. That’s right – less squatter homes will result in large increase in property values elsewhere, increasing the taxbase and increasing revenue 5-fold or more.
On the subject of nationalization, I’d like to see more gov’t intervention on the following:
- I’d like to see the gov’t nationalize the amount of TV that Americans can watch per day. I’d like to see $10 Billion spent developing a system where if your TV is left on for more than 1 hour/day, that it immediately shuts off and can only be reset every 12-16 hours.
Regulating/nationalizing TV watching will result in more family quality time and force dads to be more emotionally involved in the lives of their kids. The money saved in court costs (less custody battles, divorces, etc) will fund the TV Czar and his department.
- I’d like to see the gov’t nationalize what Americans can eat. A diet of only vegetables and water. They need to nationalize and regulate what food can and can’t be sold in stores. Only organic products with no processed sugar or sodium added. The money saved by fewer cases of heart disease, diabetes, osteoporosis, and cancer will be used to fund a food czar and ensuing gov’t division.
- I’d like to see the gov’t regulate all new construction projects. All new skyscrapers will be have solar panels covering at least 50% of the exterior with the panels being able to provide at least 300% of the total energy needs for the building. The other 200% of the energy will be sold to repay the money spent to create a building czar and ensuing gov’t multi-tiered bureaucracy.
- I’d like to see….none of this. But these projects are at least a little bit better than $150 million for contraceptives, $85 Billion for big pharma, $866,000 for a discgolf course (seriously….I love discgolf…but as part of a stimulus package using federal money?), $275 billion in tax cuts….good grief.
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