In Love's Service....

I remember a line from Brennan Manning's Abba's Child, and it was "In Love's Service, only wounded can serve."

Last week, a co-worker and I were talking and he alluded to the fact that sometimes we are allowed to endure trials so as to birth within us even a greater empathy for the world's hurts. It's one thing to empathize but that empathy reaches another level when you can stare that person straight in the face and say "I've walked that road - that exact road as a matter of fact. And yes, it's bumpy and hard at times, but I want to let you know that Jesus held my hand through the whole ordeal and He can hold yours too." Oh, that God would bring about radical amounts of love and empathy in His followers to love the hurting world out there!!

My heart is once again in a place of radical vunerability....but you know what, I think some of the most meaningful God moments that have ever happened to me have happened during this time of bereavement. People have seen the wounded, sobbing Daniel and have not abandoned me. The hugs I have received have been genuine. The depth of my brother's love for me (my biological brother) has never been more evident than in the last 8 weeks (especially the night of the breakup). My youngest sister bought me my favorite candy for Valentine's Day. My other sister has been an invaluable sounding board as I've talked through a great number of things in an attempt to gain clarity. Several other ladies have sent me handwritten cards of encouragement. Several other guys have had me over for dinner.

And the gift of forgiveness that I've been given I've been able to share with others. Allison and Janis, I am so happy that I was able to help you cancel some yucky debts. All praise be to God on that one.

Not under Condemnation

I am no longer under the law but under grace.

"Holy Spirit, you know my heart and you know that it desires to follow wholeheartedly after you. You also know that any attempts of mine to live the Christian life in the flesh, or in fear of the rules and subsequent punishment, will ultimately fail. In this moment, I just latch on to your grace. You love me so much, Jesus! I chose to make that the #1 thing I think about today. You know the ways in which I struggle and I just pray that you'll hold my hand and deal with my enemies in a way that delivers me from their entincing snares and subsequent shame and guilt.

Thank you, Holy Spirit, that even when I sin, that you don't condemn me - that my standing in your eyes is both holy and blameless. I am a saint dressed in white robes! I am forgiven! I am not condemned because I am in Christ Jesus. When God the father looks down at me, He doesn't see my sin because Christ has paid for all sins - past, present, and future.

Of course you know that I know that I'm not going to keep sinning so that grace can abound. But you also know that I'm like a 4 year old child that is simply saying "Daddy, help!" Please respond to my cries for help, King Jesus and deliver me from my enemies. I chose to believe that this is possible in faith and from the wellspring of faith I make whatever efforts I can on my end to live a life worthy of the calling that I've received.

If your grace is real, I pray that you'd show it to me today. May mercy and grace triumph over judgement and condemnation. In Jesus' name, amen."