We all battle unbelief every single day. As a matter of fact, if we were to peel away the layers of our sinful condition, I bet we'd find that at the root of it is an underlying layer which is typically an unbelief in the goodness of God.
Take for example, a friend of mine who has been raised in the church. She seems to be a very devout follower of Jesus and tries her best to please him.
This friend of mine has been dating someone for quite sometime now, but rather than getting married, they just decided to move in together. On the surface, the sin appears to simply fornication, but I bet if you were to get to the core of it, it's really that God's plan (wait until marriage to enjoy sexual relations with one's spouse) lost its appeal. Certainly, this is no longer deemed a "good" idea; otherwise, this friend would have probably waited until marriage. This person even told me, several years back, that she was definitely waiting until marriage to give of herself sexually. It's sad to see that ultimately her belief that God was doing her wrong by not providing for her a husband on her timetable trumped her promise to God and to herself to wait until marriage to enjoy sex.
And let me be the 1st to admit that it's incredibly hard to fight sin. I, Daniel, because of the indwelling sin that still makes war against me, am fully capable of doing just about anything to displease God. I don't like that fact and am very excited about the day when I will have a new body and no longer have to deal with this sinful piece of flesh.
And there are times when it is very hard to believe in the goodness of God. So hard! Peter Scazzero calls it "The Wall" - a set of life circumstances that seriously challenge one's faith. Some examples Pete alludes to are things like an unexpected cancer, an inability to get pregnant, loss of a loved one, extended singlehood when the person desires marriage, a failed marriage, a miscarriage - the list goes on. These are things that will push even the strongest person's faith to the breaking point. They are left wondering, at their core, if God is really good. "If you are a good God then why did this happen?" (Isn't this what the inner us is saying all the time??)
But when one really does come to a place where one is convinced, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that God is good, it can be the most freeing thing imaginable. A while back, I heard a Wycliffe missionary named Dennis tell us that his life prayer was this: "Lord do whatever you need to do to me so that you can do all that you want to do through me." My initial reaction to this was "Are you kidding me?? That prayer is madness! (What if God thinks the best thing to do to me is to redo everything that happened to Job, minus the last half of the last chapter)"
But the more I've wrestled with this prayer over the years, the more I've come to realize that Dennis had gone through his own 'Wall' and that he was fully at peace with God's goodness. Wow, what a place to be! He's fully ok with letting God do anything to him because he fully believes that all things truly are working for the good of them THAT LOVE GOD, who are called according to His purpose! Dennis couldn't be dissuaded of God's goodness no matter what this world or Satan threw at him.
May I ever more be able to joyfully pray this prayer.
